Overview

By admin

Growing up with a terminally ill mother, a mentally ill and addicted brother and an alcoholic father is an almost surefire path to become a social worker. Through thirty years in the field, my colleagues haven’t known that my mother’s death unanchored me when I was seven years old, leaving me surrounded by addiction and mental illness and shuttled from home to home. Grief, gratitude and everyday heroes are my foundation.

Urban Tidepool refuses to give in to the idea of victimization and instead explores the background of a social services professional through the lens of reclamation and forgiveness. Interjected with dark humor, the majority of this gritty manuscript chronicles the time frame between the deaths of my parents. Supplemented with stories of young people with whom I’ve worked, Urban Tidepool leads readers through moments of desperation, paralyzing fear, and high risk behavior to acceptance and then to connection, healing, and creation.

I train hundreds of human services professionals and educators each year on the issues faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth through school institute days and conference presentations. I’ve never faced an audience without wondering what people might think of me if they knew my truth. It never felt like time to tell my story until the fall of 2010 when a string of highly publicized suicides of young men, including Tyler Clementi, who had been bullied for their (in most cases presumed) sexual orientation became daily news. Entertainers, authors, even President Obama rushed to assure young LGBT people that their lives would improve if only they could wait out the bullying they endured. I never wanted to speak up, fearing it would change the way my colleagues view me. Since breaking the silence with my completed rough draft, however, my colleagues and the Urban Tidepool Facebook fans insist. People root for the underdog. Everyone likes a happy ending.

It is time to tell my truth. Gut-wrenching stories of youth suicide have become standard fare. My truth is that it is possible not only to survive catastrophic loss by finding humor in a futile search for Christmas tree pants, in the danger of sharks in the closet and in opportunities to help a Gulf State cockroach with his grooming, but to use it to facilitate life-altering changes for a new generation.

  1. Rebecca says:

    Yes! SO glad you are being courageous, once again, to share your story!

  2. Jon Loomis says:

    SOOOoooo……which chapter features me kicking your ass in racquetball?………(heh)…..
    congrat’s Nancy – and I’m getting a copy of your book………signed, I presume………for free…….(KIDDING … at least about the latter!!)……

  3. susan francis says:

    First a standing ovation and then the warmest of hugs to you my dear friend.
    The TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE…AND MANY MANY MORE….S

    • Thank you for coming to check out the site, Susan!

    • U'i Victorino says:

      I love what I read so far. Its funny how I’ve always wanted to write a book myself, and never knew where to start. I saw a book at a garage sale, on “How to write a book”. I should have bought it back then. If I were to write a book my family would be so upset with me because I’d reveal a lot of things that were in the closet for years. So I thought maybe it was left unsaid. I can’t wait to read the book. We all go through things, some worst than others. Sometimes I feel Im gay because of my past and up bringing. Can’t wait to read it. Again thanks for writing me tonight!!

      • U’i! Thank you! Sorry I’m just getting this now. The quote I found most helpful about writing my story is from Anne Lamott: “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
        Cheers!

  4. Kat Parker says:

    Ohmygoodness. I am LOVING everything I am reading. More stories like this need to be shared.

  5. Maritza Maldonado says:

    Awesome Nancy! The courage and strength that it took to survive your childhood was the same courage and strength it took to write this book. You have had it in you all the time. You have now become one of the everyday heroes!

  6. Nancy Carlson says:

    Wow. An amazing story of courage, survival, and healing. An inspiration for so many.

  7. Lexie says:

    Hi nance

  8. Elizabeth crossan says:

    I’m so sorry for what you went through Nanc and so happy you are the person you are today… May God Bless you always ❤️

  9. Lucy Sosa says:

    I can’t wait to get my copy of the memoir! It will be my 2020 graduation gift to myself. Let’s get this book publish!

  10. Beth Durbin says:

    I remember the first time we met at COD, it was at an NCO seminar in 2008. I knew you were a person who had a story to tell, and a person was going to make great things happen. I’m happy to know you. I cant wait until the book comes out, I will definitely be buying it.

  11. Kat Cody says:

    This sounds amazing. I can’t wait to read it.

  12. Patricia higgins says:

    Nancy, I’m so sorry you went through all of this. Growing up with you I never knew any of this. That shows what an observant kid I was. Sorry for the ignorance. But I can’t wait to read your book. And you should be so proud of what you have accomplished and the incredible person you have become despite all your heartaches and worries. God bless and good luck ☘️❤️

    • Trish, when you read the book you’ll see why I kept it such a closely guarded secret. Thank you for such kind words! I can’t wait to have a drink with you when I come home next!

  13. Millie A Napoli says:

    Wow, so proud to call you my friend from so many years ago, I am sorry you went through this alone girlfriend, this book will truly help so many people who are struggling!!